Sibal's Utopia

Context:

India's IT and communication minister Kapil Sibal wants companies like Facebook, Google, Yahoo to have employees (live persons) monitoring their websites for "defamatory, violence inciting, derogatory, offensive remarks/content".

Say whatever you want, but I totally agree with Mr. Sibal. Man, he is some genius. He follows the basic scientific solution that suggests that, always fix the root cause rather than trying to solve the symptoms or outcomes.

Now that Mr. Sibal has come up with such a bold altruistic solution which can be even termed self sacrificing to an extent, I think we should help him. Co'mon let us not be biased. Didn't everyone pitch in to occupy New Delhi when Mr. Anna Hazare fought against corruption. How different is this then? Sadly, I am living in US and I can only give ideas rather than be a part of Sibal movement.

I think we should start by banning religion, if Facebook and Google, some mere private companies can have resources to live check all profiles, a country with billion people, we should definitely be able to enforce it. And yea, no religion means no communal riots, no Ayodhya movement, no Babri masjid demolition, no terrorist attacks. And think about all the land that we can acquire by destroying the places of worship. I am sure Mr. Sibal and others in congress would love to invest the billions and odd money that came from the 2G scam invested worthwhile.

How about castrating everyone in India? Isnt that the root cause of the population problem. Man, that means Aadhar  (unique ID program) can be implemented far easily. I am sure Nanden Nilekeni would love that. Also, less population means more food, less inflation, wont this be just fantastic? Fixing the root cause, isn't that what this is all about? Thats exactly what we are doing here. Going in search of the root, into pants and panties.

Now by implementing these ideas, we have reached a utopia already. But for genius of Sibal's calibre nothing is perfect. How about banning sex? You ask why? Well, that means no heterosexuals, homosexuals, transexuals. No gay rights, lesbian rights, bisexual rights to fight for. Civil unions or marriage or live in who cares. Perfect.

Wow, all I did was put myself in Mr. Sibal's shoes for few minutes and brilliant brilliant ideas are oozing out everywhere dripping around me. Mr. Sibal you have shown me the door towards enlightenment. Please consider me as your fan, and if you think I am worth it, please hire me as your secretary. Together we can change the world.

But wait a minute, first come first, before implementing all these ideas, we should do something. Let us make life easy for ourselves first. I know, I know Mr. Anna Hazare has been a real pain in the *ss for you for a while now. Let us make him jobless first. How you ask. Let us ban Congress Party, that means no corruption, no nepotism, no political crooks, no spine less prime ministers and yay, yippee, hurray no Gandhis. Oops, that is going to be problem isn't it? Shooting up yourself through your *ss. Yep, that is exactly how we are going to start with.