Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Went to the GOP Black Friday Sale couple weeks back and got caught in a stampede. Glad that I am back home alive. Here is a sample of what was on sale. Sincerely hoping you are as eager as me.
To start with, aisle one had a stall selling ever popular Romney flip flops. Of course this has been on sale for quite some time now. Omnipresent, always on sale but somehow not seeing anyone wearing it. One wonders why!
Stall two on aisle one keeps changing. In Harry Potter terms, we could call it the room of non requirement. For a while Ms. Bachmann was selling coupons for free gay therapy sessions. Then she started selling vaccines too. When Perry started selling dope on the side, Ms. Bachmann sales came plummeting down. Lately I heard she has been selling Romney flip flops undercover.
For a while stall two was occupied by Perry. He was selling dope legally. How you ask. Well, there is this clause in GOP rule book. Call a task legal, illegal, moral, immoral, ethical, unethical. Doesn't matter. If it is done by a "conservative" it is always correct. Sad to hear that Mr. Perry succumbed to his own dope few weeks back.
When Perry was under dope, the stall got occupied by Cain. The stall was selling 999. No body knew till date what it is. But for some unknown reasons the stall was always occupied by middle aged women crying and screaming. Customers waiting outside the stall felt that they were missing the action and started moving to other stalls.
Lately that stall has been occupied by Multi-millionaire, multi-wifenaire, multi-ideanaire, multi throatenaire, multi-taskinaire Gingrich the great. I call his stall the magic stall. You ask why. Well, there is literally nothing on sale, but the stall is super popular. All I saw in the stall was a single chair in the middle of an otherwise empty stall, and a huge guy sitting there screaming and shouting at whoever that takes a picture of him or ask him a question. I think he is like a three headed guard dog protecting something special. No wonder the stall is currently the popular attraction in the sale.
Aisle two had some fantastic stalls including Huntsman gooey gooey Ketchups and Santorum's ethical marriage promoting porn shops. But then I was already suffering from extreme brain saturation.
I am 100% sure I am forgetting something...err someone..please give me a minute. I keep remembering someone standing beside me rambling, complaining about everything, telling how everything has to change, everyone has to change. I am very sure, because my right ear was totally wet from he spitting constantly. He even hit me couple of times on my butt with his cane for not paying attention. Should be some school principal who was visiting the sale I guess.
Went to the GOP Black Friday Sale couple weeks back and got caught in a stampede. Glad that I am back home alive. Here is a sample of what was on sale. Sincerely hoping you are as eager as me.
To start with, aisle one had a stall selling ever popular Romney flip flops. Of course this has been on sale for quite some time now. Omnipresent, always on sale but somehow not seeing anyone wearing it. One wonders why!
Stall two on aisle one keeps changing. In Harry Potter terms, we could call it the room of non requirement. For a while Ms. Bachmann was selling coupons for free gay therapy sessions. Then she started selling vaccines too. When Perry started selling dope on the side, Ms. Bachmann sales came plummeting down. Lately I heard she has been selling Romney flip flops undercover.
For a while stall two was occupied by Perry. He was selling dope legally. How you ask. Well, there is this clause in GOP rule book. Call a task legal, illegal, moral, immoral, ethical, unethical. Doesn't matter. If it is done by a "conservative" it is always correct. Sad to hear that Mr. Perry succumbed to his own dope few weeks back.
When Perry was under dope, the stall got occupied by Cain. The stall was selling 999. No body knew till date what it is. But for some unknown reasons the stall was always occupied by middle aged women crying and screaming. Customers waiting outside the stall felt that they were missing the action and started moving to other stalls.
Lately that stall has been occupied by Multi-millionaire, multi-wifenaire, multi-ideanaire, multi throatenaire, multi-taskinaire Gingrich the great. I call his stall the magic stall. You ask why. Well, there is literally nothing on sale, but the stall is super popular. All I saw in the stall was a single chair in the middle of an otherwise empty stall, and a huge guy sitting there screaming and shouting at whoever that takes a picture of him or ask him a question. I think he is like a three headed guard dog protecting something special. No wonder the stall is currently the popular attraction in the sale.
Aisle two had some fantastic stalls including Huntsman gooey gooey Ketchups and Santorum's ethical marriage promoting porn shops. But then I was already suffering from extreme brain saturation.
I am 100% sure I am forgetting something...err someone..please give me a minute. I keep remembering someone standing beside me rambling, complaining about everything, telling how everything has to change, everyone has to change. I am very sure, because my right ear was totally wet from he spitting constantly. He even hit me couple of times on my butt with his cane for not paying attention. Should be some school principal who was visiting the sale I guess.
1 comments:
Your funny quotient is growing exponentially.... :-)
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